I often think I can interpret dreams - sometimes other people's but definitely my own. My mom always says it's the person that has the dream that knows best what it means, so that's why mostly I just try to remember / write out my own dreams and think about what they mean. Sometimes they're a jumbled up mess, but other times I think they might be messages straight from God or at least straight from my heart to my brain to show me what's going on or something.
So here's one from two nights ago that I thought was pretty interesting:
I was at a big birthday party on the beach, and it was a "surfing birthday party," where there were like twenty of us with surf boards and that was all we were going to do - surf.
Now if you know me at all, I do not surf. I think surfing is super cool. I love to watch people surf, I just would never ever in a million years (I don't think) try to do it. I have wake-boarded and knee-boarded before, but those were extenuating circumstances and at least with those sports you're holding onto something, and there's a boat driver and people looking out for you. I am also not a very good swimmer, and I one time had a traumatic experience where someone blobbed me on a big blob at a camp, and I flew off it the wrong way and slammed my face into the water, and it hurt pretty bad slash I couldn't breathe and thought I was going to drown. And it was embarrassing because I looked crazy in front of all these kids (I was not a kid - I was working there) as I was grasping and heaving for air for five minutes.
Needlesstosay, I do not love water sports.
Okay so we're at this surfing birthday party (back to the dream now), and I notice the girl throwing the party has a broken leg or something. She's in a cast, and she looks like she's having so much fun but she's not surfing. She can't, you know? So I go up to her and I'm like, "Why did you still want to throw a surfing party when you can't surf right now?" And she's like, "Well, I still wanted everyone else to have fun." And she was having so much fun watching everyone else have fun and cheering them on.
I'm like, Whoa. That was pretty awesome because I felt like it was God speaking to me, partly in a literal way like a) when I'm throwing parties (which I do a lot because I love to host), I should care more about everyone else having a good time than about me getting something I want out of it (i.e. a certain guy to notice me blah blah blah). And b) in a more metaphorical way, I should be excited for my friends who are starting to thrive in their acting and writing careers even if I haven't had an audition in three months and my current writing consists of journaling to God and blogging to no one.
Philippians 2:3 says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves" (NIV).
Then, the other part of the dream:
Well, first of all I was surprised how pretty fearless I was to go out into the water and surf. I was staying sort of close to the coast (may not be possible in real-life surfing, only dream-surfing), but I was riding the waves and stuff along with the others. Then I noticed a few of my friends leaving so I thought the party was over, and I went to catch up with them, and they told me they were going to a restaurant. I started to go with them but then for some reason I turned around and went back to the surf party, that was still happening! Everyone was sitting at picnic tables listening to this instructor guy, so I sat down with them and said to someone next to me, "I thought the surfing was over," and the person was like, "No, it's just beginning. Those guys just left because they were too scared, and they decided to go to the pier." I was like, "Oh," and I was pretty happy I had come back because I had actually just been getting into it and wanting to learn more and was sad it was already over. But the person next to me ensured me it was going to go on for a long time still, and all of us there were so excited.
Then I noticed a certain guy I'd been crushing on and some of his closer friends also weren't there anymore, so I asked about them, and the person next to me said they left because they were too scared.
Whatttttt. I was pretty disappointed about this, but I was too excited about surfing and hanging out with the people that weren't afraid, to get all worked up about losing the guy.
So this part was pretty meaningful to me because it made me realize that even though I get crushes on guys and want to get married (I think), I actually usually get more excited about learning and growing in new ways and doing it with a cool community of people. (I just don't understand why I can't have that and marriage. But maybe I can. Maybe I just need to do it with one of the non-afraid guys.)
